Dealing with disappointment

Earlier this year, I applied for my dream job. I wasn’t only very enthusiastic about the vacancy, but I also believed I was a great fit for it. Applying was a breeze. I’d recently updated my CV and online job profiles. All I needed to do was turn my enthusiasm into a cover letter. After a weekend of writing, I submitted my application and received the usual acknowledgment of receipt. Then, nothing much happened.

A week later, I called the company and learned I wasn’t among the first interviewees. That message was a setback, but I was happy I didn’t receive a rejection right away. I could see it coming, though, and a few weeks later I received the final verdict. I wasn’t going to be invited for an interview. I was really disappointed. I hadn’t been this excited about a vacancy in years. Besides, my educational and professional background seemed perfect for the job. But it wasn’t enough.

I was told not to take the rejection personally and to move on. I’d find another job. I’d meet an employer who appreciated my experience and expertise. However, as encouraging as those words might’ve been, I found it very hard to let the rejection slide off me. For days, I felt awful. I saw myself as a complete fraud with a stupid CV full of holes. All at once, my experience seemed utterly irrelevant. How would anyone give me a chance and invite me for an interview? How would I ever find a job I loved?

Slowly, my primal reaction faded away, and I started thinking. Had it been a bad idea to condense my CV into one page? Did I remove essential elements? Was my cover letter too short? Should I’ve focused on other topics? Would I’ve made a better impression by contacting the company more often? Before I knew it, I started compensating for my doubts. I’d fix my CV. I’d emphasize my relevant experience and expand it. I’d show the company I would’ve been an excellent candidate for the job. Still in this mindset, I spent weeks creating a detailed portfolio of the projects I worked on.

Finally, I became angry. I became angry with the company for not inviting me and not giving me a chance. I also felt angry with myself. I missed an opportunity and blamed myself for it. As time passed, my intense feelings subsided. I also realized I couldn’t change the situation and admitted my defeat. The company hadn’t hired me—and wouldn’t anytime soon. Maybe other candidates had a better CV, or I didn’t match the company that well after all. I’ll never know.

I do know this. It may not have been optimal to shorten my CV. I might’ve made a better impression with a different cover letter. But I didn’t make a mistake per se. I simply expressed my enthusiasm for a job I wasn’t hired for. I also learned that taking circumstances personally isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In fact, I’m happy I didn’t move on right after my rejected application. Otherwise, how would I’ve discovered my disappointment, self-doubt, and anger? Going through these feelings wasn’t catastrophic, either. They were temporary and, if anything, showed me how much the vacancy appealed to me. Next time, I intend to acknowledge my feelings earlier and skip the compensation game, though.