Dealing with disappointment

Earlier this year, I applied for my dream job. I wasn’t only very enthusiastic about the vacancy, but I also believed I was a great fit for it. Applying was a breeze. I had recently updated my CV and online job profiles. All I needed to do was turn my enthusiasm into a cover letter. After a weekend of writing, I submitted my application and received the usual acknowledgment of receipt. Then, nothing much happened.

A week later, I called the company and learned I wasn’t among the first interviewees. That message was a setback, but I was happy I didn’t receive a rejection right away. I could see it coming, though, and a few weeks later I received the final verdict. I wasn’t going to be invited for an interview. I was really disappointed. I hadn’t been this excited about a vacancy in years. Besides, my educational and professional background seemed perfect for the job. But it wasn’t enough.

I was told not to take the rejection personally and to move on. I would find another job. I would meet an employer who appreciated my experience and expertise. However, as encouraging as those words might have been, I found it very hard to let the rejection slide off me. For days, I felt awful. I saw myself as a complete fraud with a stupid CV full of holes. All at once, my experience seemed utterly irrelevant. How would anyone give me a chance and invite me for an interview? How would I ever find a job I loved?

Slowly, my primal reaction faded away, and I started thinking. Had it been a bad idea to condense my CV into one page? Did I remove essential elements? Was my cover letter too short? Should I have focused on other topics? Would I have made a better impression by contacting the company more often? Before I knew it, I started compensating for my doubts. I would fix my CV. I would emphasize my relevant experience and expand it. I would show the company that I would have been an excellent candidate for the job. Still in this mindset, I spent weeks creating a detailed portfolio of the projects I worked on.

Finally, I became angry. I became angry with the company for not inviting me and not giving me a chance. I also felt angry with myself. I missed an opportunity and blamed myself for it. As time passed, my intense feelings subsided. I also realized I couldn’t change the situation and admitted my defeat. The company hadn’t hired me—and wouldn’t anytime soon. Maybe other candidates had a better CV, or I didn’t match the company that well after all. I will never know.

I do know this. It may not have been optimal to shorten my CV. I might have made a better impression with a different cover letter. But I didn’t make a mistake per se. I simply expressed my enthusiasm for a job I wasn’t hired for. I also learned that taking circumstances personally isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In fact, I am happy I didn’t move on right after my rejected application. Otherwise, how would I have discovered my disappointment, self-doubt, and anger? Going through these feelings wasn’t catastrophic, either. They were temporary and, if anything, showed me how much the vacancy appealed to me. Next time, I intend to acknowledge my feelings earlier and skip the compensation game, though.